I have a speech disability. To be more specific I stutter, which has complicated communication and the verbalization of my ideas. However, I feel that in many ways stuttering has strengthened and developed my art practice. It has provided me with an ability to appreciate more fully, the power of communicating visually. Through my studio practice I also experience a solitude that eases the anxiety generated from the trouble I have with speaking. This, in turn, deeply invigorates my spirit.
However, given that communication and the ability to speak publicly are essential elements in establishing a career, it can be difficult for me to discuss my work in person, whether it is through one-on-one interaction or group assembly. Often I am forced to substitute words for ones that do not best describe my intent. Sometimes I can’t even begin or finish a sentence. This can often lead to misunderstanding and as a result I can get frustrated. Because of this I have difficultly maximizing opportunities.
In my studio I see, listen, and move from my gut. I take long walks around town and get inspired by stuff I see, like bits of brightly colored trash or thrown out books filled with the faded grains of yesterday’s image. Books such as these, along with other detritus, are potential materials that serve as inspiration and raw data for new work. Found images act as conceptual substrates for my paintings.
By globbing paint on found images and on the document table of a flat bed scanner, I create colorful paintings that explore figure-ground relationships and hyper-flat pictorial space. I scan and remove the paint-smeared image a number of times before selecting a viable candidate for further production. The final image is enlarged and presented as a chromogenic print. This enlargement intensifies and magnifies the physicality of the paint, producing a contradictory visual and tactile tension that entices yet denies the viewer the gratification of the painting’s materiality.
While the found image may seem obliterated, my intentions are to create a synthesis between the imagery and the paint, as well as to mediate the image’s past and present life. The colors I use are often poured or dripped directly from the tube and then they are mixed together from the pressure of the scanner lid or from the actions of my hand sliding the image around as it is being scanned. Similar to the way that I find material, my painting process employs an element of chance - as I never know what I will get when I press scan. Ultimately, I am not interested in creating beautiful paintings or perfect prints, rather I am interested in crystalizing a frenetic gesture and capturing the quickness of happenstance.